He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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