my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize