I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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