I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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