i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize