don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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