you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
