Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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