Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize