Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
