It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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