Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
