is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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