I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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