If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
