So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
