i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize