In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
