Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
