I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you will always have a special place in my vag
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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