i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
