Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
