Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize