the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
