he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
