guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
