He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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