You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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