The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
