do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
