To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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