Apparently you make a good broom.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
