I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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