just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
