it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
