hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Randomize