Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
