Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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