what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
