Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
