Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
