Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
