'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
