The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I touched a dick in church today
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
