would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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