I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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