I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I bet he comes in French.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
