just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
