i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
