Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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