He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize