Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
