I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
