I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
