:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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