Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I look better un-naked...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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