He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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