Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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