so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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