I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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