please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
