help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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