haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
